If the police are there to protect us

…which they are not, per court ruling

Then let’s give them some incentive to do the job they’re being paid by taxpayers to claim they do.

This can be done with federal law enforcement easily enough. Any Congress that can pass Obamacare can easily pass a law to

  • Make the pay rate for all personnel with law enforcement powers equal to the federal minimum wage. Across the board. Every single one. At any level, supervision or management.
  • Include a clause that any union contract specifying otherwise is null and void upon expiration, and must be renegotiated (you can keep your pay if you like your pay; heh) to meet US Code requirements. No contract extensions not compliant with the standards.
  • No minimum wage LEO may carry a firearm. Ever. Aren’t they citizens, people, just like the disarmed rest of us?
  • Those LEOs who wish to carry a firearm only on duty shall qualify on each and every type of firearm they might carry on duty, and requalify semiannually. Firearms-qualified and equipped LEOs will earn a 15% bonus.

Statistically, law enforcement doesn’t make the top ten list of most dangerous jobs. Some list, it doesn’t make the top twenty. Why should their base pay be higher than a roofer?

You think that’s tricky? You ain’t seen nothing yet.

  • As above, LEO pay is fixed at minimum wage, or minimum plus 15%, but…
  • Any unarmed LEO who goes into harm’s way (as anti-exemplified by the Broward County Sheriff’s Office) to protect a citizen(s) earns a cash bonus for that action. If needed, full medical coverage for any injuries, appropriate death benefits, and 100% college scholarships for any children.
  • Any armed LEO who goes into harm’s way earns a lesser cash bonus for that action. If needed, full medical coverage for any injuries and appropriate death benefits.
  • Any armed LEO who fails to go into harm’s way to protect a citizen(s) will lose all armed-officer pay and bonuses perpetually. This does not mean he must search out such incidents, but merely respond appropriately when one does occur in which he could have acted.
  • Disputes arising from whether a LEO’s behavior met the above standards or not will be settled by a board of arbitrators consisting of non-LEO civilians, but advised in a non-binding fashion by a person(s) will law enforcement experience but no conflict of interest in any particular case at hand. The board shall have the power to award additional bonuses (beyond those specified above) should they determine the LEO’s behavior was especially exemplary.

By judicial decree, cops don’t have any responsibility to protect individuals; they “protect” society simply being there. So do minimum wage unarmed security guards. This proposal does not attempt to change that lack of requirement; it incentivizes the behavior we expect of good cops. LEOs who can’t deal with this probably shouldn’t be LEOs. They hire on with Securitas (and arrange their own unofficial bonuses) or flip burgers.

Or roof houses.

Naturally, this federal law wouldn’t apply to state/local officers. It would be up to locals to decide if they want something similar for their tax dollars. But federal grants, equipment, and civil asset forfeiture (pessimistically, I don’t expect that to go away, even if this proposal passed) sharing would be dependent upon local compliance with these guidelines.

Let the folks doing mundane, boring, unexceptional work be paid as such.

Let the heroes be rewarded as such.


Carl is an unpaid TZP volunteer. If you found this post useful, please consider dropping something in his tip jar. He could use the money.

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2 thoughts on “If the police are there to protect us”

  1. The police are there to provide the legal industry with busy work and the aggrandizement of power.
    Q: Why are the cops like flies?
    A: They eat sh!t and bother people.

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