Category Archives: Humor

Entrepreneurship

Brilliant.

Big shout out to whoever it was that turned in 62 3D printed guns for $150 each at a Houston gun buy-back

A box of what authorities described as “ghost guns” were collected during the buy-back event, Saturday, July 30, 2022 at Wheeler Avenue Baptist Church in Houston.

Reminds me of the group that was taking batches of slam-fire shotguns to “buybacks,” and using the money raised to fund classes for new gun owners.

 

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Michael Moore’s XXVIII AMENDMENT

Michael Moore, apparently desperate for attention after a series of film flops — of which most I’d never even heard — is frantically screaming, Look at me! He has drafted, and allegedly sent to Congress, a 28th Amendment proposal to repeal and replace the Second Amendment.

When I saw this, I had thought I’d do a full fisking on it. But once I got to any homemade equipment and machinery or a 3D printer that can make a gun or weapon that can take a human life,” I knew there was no point to it.

Any equipment and machinery that could be used to make anything that could used to kill.

In the letter I mention flintknapping, but really, the dumb SOB would be outlawing virtually any human technology. Baseball bats, electricity, cars, fertilizers and pesticides. Anything that can potentially kill.

I encourage Moore to adopt this “nothing that can kill” lifestyle immediately. Please.

Mr. Moore,

One of the most disturbing aspects of your proposed amendment is that you appear to have *attempted* to put a lot of thought into it. Attempted, but failed.

I could critique that amendment line by line, but once you outlawed rocks and flintknapping, there hardly seems to be much point to the exercise. I suspect you have never crafted a physical object in your life, other than PBJ sandwiches.

Granted, outlawing full-auto conversion devices for single-shot firearms was amusing.

I do wonder what odds you set for ratification of this proposal, in a nation where half the states have deliberately removed mandated licensing.

Will you volunteer to lead the stack of a confiscation team, to collect the millions of firearms no one is going to turn in voluntarily? You live in Michigan, I see, so you could volunteer to disarm Bloods and Crips in Detroit. Have fun with that since your amendment would disarm you and your police team members.

Watching you try that in southern Georgia might be even more amusing. You would keep gators, pigs, and coyotes fed for quite some time.

Oh, and a hint: You should review HELLER, MCDONALD, and NYSRPA v. Bruen. NO amendment “grants” a right to keep and bear arms. It is a preexisting fundamental and individual right.

I will be re-posting this email at the zelmanpartisans.com, where we do not limit comments to “paid subscribers;” feel free to reply there.

It seems unlikely that Moore will show up here. But if he does, have fun, and be as polite as he deserves.

 

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Happy Independence Day 2022

Yep, no doubt about it, this year I keep thinking about the words of Benjamin Franklin “A Republic if you can keep it” in response to being asked what kind of government had been established for the new formed United States.

So, since I have veggie hot dogs to grill I’ve just got a few thoughts for today. Some snarky, some serious, some funny. Sort of like a family potluck.

First, encouraging words from President Puddin’ Head

 

 

Typical Biden

Let’s try that again

The founding of our nation wasn’t a joke though, men and women of valor fought very hard to give us the freedom that people are squandering and taking for granted.

The Signers of the Declaration of Independence

And because of their vision, hard work and sacrifice we, have a chance to strive to be uncommon.

The American’s Creed

But the signers knew what they were doing, they knew the formula that would be needed in the future to preserve the freedom that tyrants always seek to snatch away.

Mere peasants?
Independence Day-brought to you by firearms

And I will leave you with this video of the history of the Star Spangled Banner. I didn’t get a Puffs warning, but I’m saying it might be good to have one close by.

Happy Birthday beloved America

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If Only Someone Regulated Firearms

I mentioned this on my personal blog yesterday, but I think the utter stupidity of Texas Rep. Escobar deserves more attention. This is jaw-dropping.

Dem Rep. Escobar: We Regulate Tobacco, Alcohol, Roadways — ‘Guns Should Be No Different’
Wednesday on MSNBC’s “José Díaz-Balart Reports,” Rep. Veronica Escobar (D-TX) doubled down on her call for guns to be regulated much like tobacco, alcohol, and roadways in the wake of the shooting at a Texas elementary school that left 19 children dead.

As I said yesterday…

There’s this little known agency called the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives that regulates alcohol, tobacco, FIREARMS, and explosives, you effin’ ditz.

And what minuscule number of laws and regs might they they be enforcing in regards to firearms (in addition to the alcohol and tobacco they regulate)?

18 U.S. Code § 921

18 U.S. Code § 922

18 U.S. Code § 923

18 U.S. Code § 924

18 U.S. Code § 925

18 U.S. Code § 926

And all that is just a sampling of sections in Chapter 44. There’s always 26 U.S. Code § 5845, for another single example.

Then there’s the regulations in the Code of Federal Regulations; pages and pages and pages and…

That’s only at the federal level, Escobar. I suppose it’ll come as a shock to your tiny, ill-informed — yet somehow still legislating — pseudo-mind that every state, territory, federal district, civilian and military installation has their own additional.

Individual counties, cities, and towns pile on their own laws and regulations.

I think we may have just a few regulations on guns.

If you wish to contact Dimwit Escobar, to explain the statutory and regulatory facts of life to, you can contact her office HERE. Be aware that Escobar is one of those tyrannical types who likes to vote on national legislation, but is grossly afraid of national feedback. Her contact form requires you to enter a ZIP+4 within her district to pass “Go.”

79901-1443 should work, for those of you affected by her idiocy but not resident in her district.

Have fun.

 

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Too Funny Not To Cross-Post: CNN+

You may have heard that CNN spent (apparently hundreds of) millions to start up its new CNN+. Don’t feel bad if you haven’t, because judging by its low traffic, most haven’t. Apparently fewer than 10,000 viewers to date.

Which prompted me to check something. I found a site that consistently out-performs CNN+.

The Zelman Partisans.

For that matter, my personal blog gives them some competition. Not every month, but visitors per month exceeding CNN+ isn’t unusual.

If CNN can handle the exposure to facts, I’ll consider job offers.

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This Clearly Calls For A Ban Of Ghost Buildings

It appears that “an alleged leader of the Jan. 6 Capitol riot” purchased an evil DIY-at-home kit to assemble a model of the Capitol, without going through a background check. The story doesn’t specify it, but I assume it had no serial number.

The FBI is building its case against an alleged leader of the Jan. 6 Capitol riot one Lego brick at a time.

Investigators seized a “fully constructed US Capitol Lego set” from Robert Morss, 27, along with a notebook containing instructions on how to create a “hometown militia,” court records published by the Smoking Gun revealed.

It is completely unacceptable that anyone — even children — can buy these kits and build militia training aids. These 80% ghost buildings are good for nothing but helping white supremacist militias bypass building codes and property taxes.

Why, the next thing you know, terrorists will be building Lego guns.

Or, Duke Nukem’s and Gropin’ Joe’s worst nightmare, nuclear weapons.

Nobody needs a high capacity 1,032 piece assault kit. Thank goodness our dedicated FBI is keeping its eyes open for these horrific threats to national security.

Added: Dear G-d, that evil corporation even sells ready-made insurrection leader figures…

… to better plot assaults on our noble Capitol Police officers.

Lego is actively encouraging and supporting white supremacist insurrection.

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Centurion Tank Wanted

You know, sometimes you just can’t tell the difference between reality and the Babylon Bee. So I think I’ll take a swing at some creative writing.

Dateline: Washington DC

As Joe Biden’s handlers sorrowfully regarded his plummeting poll numbers they considered their options. In the next room they could hear Kamala cackling as she considered her next trip to the border via New Orleans for some gumbo. A shiver ran through the room as they realized their limited options. Joe sat next to the fireplace with his pants leg pulled up showing his minder for the hour his hairy legs and asked his female secret service agent if she wouldn’t come a little closer. She vehemently shook her head no and said “You’re fine where you are, as am I”. He asked if there were some little girls with barrettes in their hair coming later to visit, the agent looked pained and replied “NO”! She looked pointedly at the agent next to her covering a grin and said “When is Jill supposed to be back”? The agent tried manfully to cover a chuckle and said “She’ll be back from getting her legs waxed in a couple of hours. She didn’t want a repeat of that no hose, visible band-aid on the leg thing like when they were photographed with the queen”.

“There’s GOT to be something” whimpered Susan Rice, maybe we should call Barry?

“Nope, no need” chimed in Fredo Cuomo “I know the perfect issue! It’s always a winner with all the American people!” Everyone looked hopefully at Cuomo. “GUN CONTROL” He crowed triumphantly! “Remember how popular Eric Swalwell and Bozo O’Rourk were with the American people? Why when Duke Nukem threatened to use nuclear weapons on American citizens everyone all across America just fell in love with him! Everyone in the newsroom loved him! All my friends thought he was a shoe in! I don’t know anyone that didn’t think he had a perfectly reasonable idea. Oh I heard some of those mouth-breathers in flyover made some noise, but who cares about them. They are a tiny minority! I mean look at it, the guy was sleeping with a Chinese spy and he’s still on the intelligence committee. If that doesn’t show how highly he’s regarded, what could? Then Bozo was so manly when he flat out told people he was going to take their AK-47s and AR-15s.” I think we could use that to show how in control Joe is. That would show people he really knows how to wield power, who care if they find out we cheated in Maricopa, and Georgia, and Pennsylvania, and Minnesota, and Wisconsin, and Nevada and” Susan Rice broke in “We know Fredo, we all know”. Well sniffed Fredo offendedly, “I’m telling you the only reason Eric didn’t win the nomination was his huge percentage started shriveling when that mean old Bear at The Zelman Partisans started writing about him. Everyone loved him!”

Kamala who had snuck unseen into the room chimed in “Gun control? Don’t you think the media might start to raise questions about Hunter and his gun?” Fredo glared witheringly at her and said “Of course not! What is the matter with you?” Kamala cackled nervously and shot back, “Well, it’s a real issue and a real problem! He probably can’t keep this up much longer” Fredo looked at her in astonishment and said “Of course he can! We’ve got his back”. Susan looked patronizingly at Kamala and said “Are you planning on visiting Disney World on your way to visit the border via New Orleans Kamala dear?” Kamala got her deer in headlights look, cackled “FLORIDA?? You mean go into De Santis territory? No, I think I’ll go to Virginia and look for root causes of ….something, I’ll think of something” and slunk out of the room.

Susan and Fredo mulled over the gun control angle. “Well, Joe is making a name for himself, look at the fabulous guy he pretended he nominated for the head of the ATF. All the senators are so impressed with him, they all love him!” Susan mused. And with the good help you guys have given him Fredo, Americans now see how deadly those assault rifles are.

Sadly for Chipman and the Communists, Americans aren’t stupid, or unskilled. So, the BATFE didn’t give Chipman a automatic weapon? Interesting.

And so a speech was whipped up for Joe while he took a long nap. He was then trotted out for the cameras and promised a nice ice cream cone if he did a good job.

As normal sane Americans listened to this, they wondered if perhaps Eric Swalwell had taken a break from sharing National security secrets with spies from enemy countries to take up speech writing for Beijing Xiden.

Predictably news outlets more reliable than the NY Slimes (which would include this column) immediately came out with notices of sales and family shopping trips to their local armory and airfield.

Emperor Palpatine Urges Citizens To Give Up Their Blasters Since They’d Need A Death Star To Beat The Empire

Palpatine was also dismissive of the idea that people need blasters in case they have to overthrow the Empire if it turns tyrannical. “It’s just a ridiculous idea that a rebellion armed with blasters could do anything about us,” he said. “You’d need your own armored, planet-destroying superweapon to match the strength of our Death Star. Even if you had X-Wings, what could they do but scratch its surface? Abandon all hope to rise against us! Abandon!”

Bass Pro Shops Announces 2-for-1 Sale On All Nuclear Missiles

In a bit of exciting news for firearms enthusiasts and those who wish to deter their government from becoming tyrannical, Bass Pro Shops has announced that its semi-annual 2-for-1 nuke sale will be kicking off this weekend. Every nuclear weapon in the company’s arsenal will be completely free with the purchase of any other nuclear weapon.

Biden Makes Compelling Argument In Favor Of Second Amendment

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a speech yesterday, President Joe Biden made a compelling and powerful argument in defense of the Second Amendment. The president ranted on and on about how if people were to rebel against his iron-fisted rule, he would nuke them and send F-15 fighter jets to attack them in their homes. These statements alone were enough to convince millions of Americans the Second Amendment is still desperately needed to protect their natural right to defend themselves.

Huge Spike In Americans Buying F-15s After Biden Suggests You’ll Need Them To Overthrow Government

The nation scrambled to buy F-15s and nuclear weapons after President Biden said in a speech Wednesday that you’ll never beat a government unless you have the fighter jets and intercontinental ballistic missiles.

All over the nation, American citizens were seen parking their brand-new F-15s in their driveways and garages. Some wealthier Americans purchased the F-22, while less fortunate citizens were forced to buy the F-35 joint fighter. But no matter what craft they chose, American citizens said they were just glad to finally be protected against a tyrannical government.

Family Shopping Trip

Personally, I have a email in to Israel to see about a home version of the Iron Dome. I knew I should have bought that Centurion tank when I had the chance!

‘You’ll Never Beat The Government With Just Guns,’ Says Party That Also Believes Government Was Almost Toppled By Unarmed Mob On January 6

At this point Nancy Pelosi tottered in on her high heels, “Don’t you mess with my commission!” She screeched. Susan Rice glared at her and said “OUT! Do you want me to call AOC?” The painted on color drained out of Pelosi’s face and she wheeled about and tottered back out of the room without a word, repeatable.

As the cabal congratulated themselves on having undoubtedly pumped up Joe’s poll numbers, they also savored the fact they had threatened him sufficiently to pretty much stay on topic.

Joe, you already are in trouble with the American people. With or without your mask, we see you and your cronies for what you are.

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A Nantucket Limerick

There was a dumb cop from Nantucket

Who looked at your rights and said, “F— it.”

He said with a grin

As he saw your chagrin

“If you don’t like it, just suck it.”


As it happens, Monday last week I was at my county court house renewing my carry license.

Because they figured out how to keep doing their jobs, despite ChinCOVID.

[Permission to republish this article is granted so long as it is not edited, and the author and The Zelman Partisans are credited. In fact, repost it EVERYWHERE.]

Carl is an unpaid TZP volunteer. If you found this post useful, please consider dropping something in his tip jar. He could really use the money, what with ISP bills. And the rabbits need feed. Click here to donate via PayPal.
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Biden/Harris Political Messaging Problem

Gropin’ Joe and Senator Kneepads seem convinced that this time “gun control” — victim disarmament — will be a winner with the voters, unlike every other presidential election for the past few decades. That’s going to be a tough sell in an age of perpetual “mostly peaceful protests, lefty politicians releasing criminals, standing down and defunding police, and millions of people looking around and deciding this is a good time to finally buy a gun.

That might fly in Dimwit-controlled urban criminal factories, but it’s less popular in fly-over country. But I think Joe/Hoe 2020 can successfully rephrase that for middle America.

Vote for me and I’ll declare open season, no bag limit, on violence-enabling victim disarming politicians.

Amusingly, Trump could use that message to get re-elected.

[Permission to republish this article is granted so long as it is not edited, and the author and The Zelman Partisans are credited.]

Carl is an unpaid TZP volunteer. If you found this post useful, please consider dropping something in his tip jar. He could really use the money, what with ISP bills. And the rabbits need feed. Click here to donate via PayPal.
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A Semi-Auto Ban I Can Support

Relax. Just wait for it.

I wrote to my state senator, asking him to vote for an amended version of Georgia Senate Bill 281: Dangerous Instrumentalities and Practices; possession of automatic and semi-automatic guns; prohibit; revise and provide definitions.

“Amended” version, because the bill includes some troubling things like a ban on “high capacity” magazines (10+) and outlawing private sales at gun shows. But I want the ban — total, not just “assault weapons;” no grandfathering — to pass as written. It’s all in the definition of “automatic and semi-automatic guns.”

As used in this part, the term:
(1) ‘Automatic or semi-automatic gun’ means any weapon which shoots or is designed to shoot:
(A) Automatically, more than six shots, without manual reloading, by a single function of the trigger; or
(B) Without any action needed to fire consecutive shots, other than having ammunition loaded in such weapon’s feeding device.

You see it, don’t you? Maybe not: “Automatically, more than six shots” or “Without any action”

So this letter went to Georgia Senator William Ligon, 3rd District:

Sen. Ligon,

I’m one of your constituents in St Marys, and a writer for The Zelman Partisans and The Truth About Guns. I cover firearms policy and law.

Sen Donzella James has filed SB 281 (Dangerous Instrumentalities and Practices; possession of automatic and semi-automatic guns; prohibit), I hope you will consider the following actions and encourage your fellow legislators to go along.

1. Amend to strike the ban on “high” capacity magazines (more than ten rounds) and private sales at gun shows.

2. Vote to pass the remaining ban on “possession of automatic and semi-automatic guns.”

As written, Sen. James has succeeded in “banning” semi-autos without actually banning anything, except possibly malfunctioning firearms. Passing this would be hilarious. If you aren’t quite sure why, this column explains.

www.thetruthaboutguns.com/georgia-senate-bill-281-would-ban-all-semi-automatic-firearms/

Thank you for your time.

Carl “Bear” Bussjaeger

If you live in Georgia, you may want to contact your own senator.

For those concerned about Georgians losing machine guns, worry not. The bill leaves intact existing language in the law which had already banned machine guns unless they’re registered under the NFA.

[Permission to republish this article is granted so long as it is not edited, and the author and The Zelman Partisans are credited.]

Carl is an unpaid TZP volunteer. If you found this post useful, please consider dropping something in his tip jar. He could really use the money, what with ISP bills. And the rabbits need feed. Click here to donate via PayPal.
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